The Old 'Stick Two people in a room' Gag
by Roxius
Summary: Very AU. Rena is somewhat of a nerd, and Mion is a bitchy tomboy. They hate each other, but their friends team up to help them become friends. As usual, they end up MORE than friends. Yuri. MionXRena, onesided ShionXMion, RikaXSatoko, gay Satoshi, etc.


Anyone and everyone who lived in Hinamizawa knew of Mion and Rena. Both girls had become rather infamous, especially at their high school, but for completely different reasons. They were even compared as being 'Ying' to 'Yang', 'Light' to 'Darkness', and more.

Rena Ryugu was one of the smartest students in the school, most likely the entire village. Always seen with a book in her hand, she constantly skipped out on social activities and would spend all her time studying. Her only friends were Rika and Satoko, who shared the same love of learning and study-time as her. Rena also had an intense hatred towards men, due to her having been molested and almost raped as a child. She was a very quiet and polite girl who could become deadly if annoyed.

As mentioned before, Mion is pretty much Rena's complete opposite: loud, rude, ambitious and not exactly top-grade material. She was always causing trouble and making lives for many of the school's staff a living hell with her antics. Some days she acted calm and did her work, but other times she was like a loose cannon, doing whatever she pleased. Mion wasn't necessarily bad, but she wasn't exactly good either. Her 'comrades' were mainly Keiichi and Shion, her twin sister. Because of her erratic ways, Mion got on Rena's nerves alot of the time.

Whenever the two girls crossed paths, they usually broke out into arguments. Rena thought Mion was an annoying immature bitch who wanted attention, while Mion claimed the other girl was nothing more than a sniveling little loser who was too busy cutting her wrists and crying to herself to actually try and meet people or have a life. It was impossible for the two girls to possibly get along...until Rika decided to change that.

"...You want to try and get Mion and Rena to become friends?" Satoko asked in disbelief when her friend told her of her plan. It was during their lunch break, since they had a different schedule from Rena's and they needed to get away from her to speak about it.

Rika, while eating one of her rice balls, nodded and replied, "Yes, that's what I aim to do. I'm sick and tired of watching Rena and Mion go at it all the time; even if Mion isn't my friend, fighting one another is just plain idiotic! I bet if, given the chance, they could be great pals, nipa!"

Satoko shook her head. "I'm sorry, Rika-chan, but...that is your worst idea EVER! I mean, seriously, they hate each other so much already! How the hell can you make all that hatred go away without months and months of careful planning and various methods would need to be executed at multiple times and at precise moments! I thought you were smart, Rika-chan!"

Before Rika could reply, Keiichi and Shion happened to walk up to their table.

"We need to talk. It's about Mion and Rena..." Keiichi interjected.

"Shouldn't you two be in class?" Satoko asked.

Shion shrugged and replied, "This is more important."

Taking seats across from the two girls, Keiichi and Shion went straight to the point: "We need your help in making Rena and Mion friends so they'll stop fighting once and for all!"

"What a surprise," Rika remarked in an annoyed tone, "We were just discussed the same thing before you guys so rudely interrupted us..."

Shion ignored Rika's words and said, "I love my sister dearly...really, I love her, like as in I want to have sex with her...but I'm tired of her always bitching about Rena! I would tell her that if she can't get over the annoying bitch, she should just marry her...but then that would shatter my dreams of twincest...anyway, I just don't want my sister to get hurt."

"Yeah, I feel the same way...except for the 'being in love with her' thing. Mion is a great friend and she's bailed me out of alot of tough spots in the past, and I owe not only my loyalty to her, but 50 bucks as well. So, I want her to be happy and safe, too...and so I can possibly get out of my debt." Keiichi added with a nod on his part.

"Well...how the hell are we supposed to make that happen?" Rika snapped, her patience growing thin.

Everyone was silent for a moment, all of them thinking up a plan. Suddenly, Satoko had an idea.

As she started to pull out her cellphone, she exclaimed, "I just thought of something that may be crazy enough to work! For it to pull through, though, I'm gonna need help from my brother Satoshi. Just let me give him a call..."

"...Isn't he that gay guy who wears drag and bondage/S&M outfits?" Keiichi asked.

Satoko flipped him the finger and proceeded to call up her beloved 'nii-nii'.

* * *

'I wonder why Satoko wanted me to come over immediately after school?' Rena thought to herself as she walked up the front steps of the Hojo Household. She had only been her twice in her life so far, and neither of them had been good. The first time, Rena was almost molested by Satoko's Uncle Teppei and she bashed the man over the head with a microwave oven. The second time, Satoshi was there...and he was GGGGAAAAAAAAYYYYY.

As she knocked on the door, Rena silently prayed that neither Uncle Teppei or Satoshi were inside. Unfortunately, the one who answered the door was none other than Satoshi...wearing a bondage/S&M leather outfit, straps and all. Before speaking, she knew she had to make sure of something first. Rena took a quick glance at his crotch before looking back up at his very passive face.

'Yup...still hate men.' Rena thought to herself.

"Welcome, Rena. Satoko and the others are expecting you..." Satoshi said as he beckoned the young girl to come inside.

'The others? Satoko invited other people, too?' Rena wondered as she stepped inside...before being hit against the back of the head with a frying pan, knocking her out.

Satoshi smirked and tossed the frying pan aside before dragging Rena's unconscious body to the designated area within the house...

* * *

When Rena came to, the first thing she saw was Mion lying on the other side of the room. She got up and ran over to kick the girl in the face, but stopped short when Mion woke up. Rubbing her eyes, Mion mumbled, "Damn...how long have I been out?"

"Shut up, you immature bitch! Why the hell are you here in Satoko's house?" Rena snapped.

Mion gasped and stood up. "S-Satoko's house?" She asked aloud, "What the hell are you talking about? This looks like an empty white room, dammit! How did I get here? How did you get here? What's going on?"

Looking around, Rena realized that Mion was right; the two of them were encased in a completely empty white room. The only noticeable thing was a large glass window on the south end of the room and speakers that hung on the walls to either side of it. Suddenly, several figures appeared on the other side of the glass. It was Rika, Satoko, Keiichi, Shion and Satoshi!

Rena's mood immediately brightened the moment she saw her two good friends. "Ah! Rika, Satoko! Thank Oyashiro-sama you're here! Where are we? Can you help us get out of here? Please?"

Flipping a switch on a dashboard, Satoko picked up a microphone and said, "I'm sorry, Rena...Mion...but we were the ones who put you two in here. We're all sick and tired of watching you two fight, and we want you guys to be friends!"

"Are you fuckin' retarded?" Mion snapped.

Snatching the microphone, Shion held it close to her lips and purred, "Oh, sister-dear...you know I love you so. It pains me deeply to watch you suffer so much because of that Rena bitch. However, since killing people has recently been made illegal, we really have no choice but to place you two in a situation where you have no choice to become friends...then you can come home and I'll give you a nice rubdown with this nice creamy oil I imported from Germany...'kay?"

Neither Rena nor Mion could believe this was happening.

Looking over to Keiichi, Mion desperately pleaded for him to tell her that this was all just a big joke. Unfortunately for her, the young man only turned his eyes away and remained silent.

Deciding to make the final comments now, Rika said, "We'll let you two out by the end of today only if you guys have become friends...GOT IT? We can tell if you're lying...Satoshi has a lie-detector..."

And with that, they walked away from the screen and left Mion and Rena alone together in that small empty white room.

'Damn it!" Mion kicked at the ground beneath her feet and sighed. Rena, however, thought she was going to go insane if she stayed here with the green-haired girl for more than even a few minutes.

Turning to Mion, Rena exclaimed, "...You do know what's going to happen, don't you?"

Obviously, Mion didn't, so Rena explained it for her: "This kind of thing has been done so many times it's stupid; two people who hate each other are locked in a room together either by their friends or by chance and don't end up leaving until they're supposed to become friends...but it always ends up BEYOND friendship..."

"...Are you saying you want to make out with me?" Mion asked with a grin.

Rena shook her head and waved her hands around wildly. "H-Hell no! That's disgusting! Haven't you heard a word I've said? We're not supposed to fall in love!"

"Oh...but you said it always ends up BEYOND friendship...right?" Mion cooed, slowly inching towards the other girl.

As Rena backed away in response, she cried, "I did say that, but I'm not gay and you're not gay! Only Shion and Satoshi are! Listen, we can't...we can't...STOP STARING AT ME SO LUSTFULLY AND LISTEN, DAMMIT!"

Mion tapped Rena lightly on the forehead and whispered, "You know why I always treat you like crap? It's because I think you're cute...that thought hasn't left my mind since the day we met."

"You sure have a funny way of showing it...you homosexual..." Rena remarked harshly.

Mion chuckled. "Look who's talking; you're not even rejecting my advances anymore, you adorable little anime girl, you..."

"You're a lesbian, huh? Funny...so am I..." Rena muttered, blushing.

Mion laughed at this revelation. "Small world, ain't it? Heh heh..."

"If what you're saying is true, then why are you suddenly acting this way now instead of when we first met?" Rena asked, her eyes looking directly into Mion's.

"I was just too afraid and full of foolish pride to admit I had feelings for you...I'm so sorry if I hurt you or your friends...besides, now that I have the chance to be alone with you, I was able to come out to you like this." Mion said.

"BUT...BUT THIS KIND OF SUDDEN CHANGE IN PERSONALITY NEEDS TO BE DRAWN OUT MORE! WHY DID YOU JUST CHANGE SO SUDDENLY? PLEASE...I MAY BE A LESBIAN TOO, BUT I DON'T WANT TO BE RAPED BY ONE! DON'T YOU REMEMBER 'SHE STOLE MY VOICE' WHEN WE WATCHED IT IN PHYS. ED.? ACTUALLY, FUCK THAT; MAKE LOVE TO ME! I LOVE YOU, MION SONOZAKI!"

"I love you too, Rena Ryugu, but tell me something...why did we watch that movie, anyway?"

"BECAUSE OUR GYM TEACHER IS A DYKE, YOU MORON!"

Then, Rena and Mion kissed passionately, their tongues entwined in a inner battle for domination. Not suprisingly, Mion won, and Rena's body was hers to control. Both girls' school clothes dropped to the floor in a heap, and Mion started to rub up against Rena's body, moaning in pleasure as she did so.

"Oh god...Mion...do me harder...do me harder!" Rena groaned and moaned, her body shivering and sweat covering her skin.

"I HAVEN'T EVEN STARTING DOING YOU YET! I JUST GOTTA GET OFF YOUR PANTIES FIRST!" Mion snapped as she removed Rena's bra using only her teeth.

"OOOOOOH...MMMMMMMIIIIIIOOOOOOOOONNNNN!!"

"AAAAAAHHHH...RRREEEEEENNNNNNNAAAAAA!!"

* * *

Meanwhile, the others were watching the whole scene using a hidden camera. Spurred on by Mion and Rena's announcements of love, Satoko and Rika started making out in the corner. Shion ran off to drown her sorrows of having her twincest dreams shattered by drinking and overdosing on drugs. Keiichi and Satoshi...well...let's just say they left to play some Co-op in Lego Star Wars together.

'It's weird...I thought Rena was said to be smart at the beginning of this fic...' Keiichi thought.

'Yeah, I know,' Satoshi replied telepathically, 'She only seemed a bit more serious than she really is in the Higurashi series...'

Also, Shion eventually found comfort in her mother Akane, who seemed to enjoy helping her daughter feel better by licking her face and lips...


End file.
